I don’t think there is ‘a’ secret or there will ever be. People come up with catchy blog titles to get the attention and almost every second day an article comes on my screen with the word ‘leadership’ and lot of the time the word ‘secret’ attached to it. HBR has an article today. If you happen to find a secret, please share with me.
Till then, be yourself and keep doing the work and of course, ignore the noise. There you go again, I just told you a leadership secret as well, didn’t I?
The least active people on Facebook complain the most about more active people, often about them oversharing.
The person who does not use Twitter or Facebook complains about people wasting their time on the service. He complains and is concerned about privacy issues around sharing!
The least active people in the office complain and criticise the most about the people and teams doing most of the work.
The person who knows the least about a topic, normally is the one criticising the most. Just start the topic of current politics and observe all super experts talking around you!
Just because you don’t have anything useful to share, don’t criticise someone who has something to share, even though it might not be adding value to you or the world – or at least that is what you think. Get over your resentment.
So how many blogs are you subscribed to? How many Twitter followers do you have? How many Facebook feeds are you subscribed to? How many readings apps do you use on your iPad/hand held device and how much time did you spend using them this past week just reading blog posts and watching videos?
Generally speaking it seems that we are over consuming media these days. As writers get smart in crafting the headlines of their web posts and video tag lines, we feel the urgency to rush and consume that piece of media. Sometimes we feel angry and frustrated by the time we reach the end of the article or the video, as the content failed to provide us the return on investment for our time.
I am no exception and I admit that I am an information addict. But every now and then I consciously ask myself these questions:
Would watching this video or reading this article increase my knowledge base or add value in my life? [This is before I consume the media]
[After I consume the media] What are the chances that I will remember the name of the author and/or contents of this article in a weeks time? [If the answer is no, then it is a lesson/reminder to minimise such content consumption moving forward]
How do you decide on what media you will consume? What patters have you identified? Are you on any information diet?
Happiness comes down to doing things that are fulfilling and to have a happy life, you need to have a fulfilling life. I read about an interesting principle leading into this theory called Pleasure/Achievement Principle by Chris Skellet.
In order to live a fulfilling life, we must strike a considered balance between pleasure and achievement.
So just filling your life with small and big pleasure is not going to make you happy and fulfilled neither will a life of being the richest person on the planet. One needs to strike a good balance.
Try something today which you have not mastered yet and you will grow fast (procrastination should not be that one thing). Allowing yourself to try something new which you have not tried before is allowing yourself to grow.
I heard a friend complaining about how his brother is just not having the way he expects him to. Thinking and over thinking about this made my friend really upset. I asked him a question – “Are you exactly the same as to what you wanted yourself to be?”
Battling with people to keep our ego’s satisfied causes a lot of pain and grief both in the short and long term. It makes us restless. It annoys us and makes us angry. Maturity is in first accepting the people and celebrating the fact that they are what they are.
Celebrate with people for who they are rather than who they are not. No one is ever going to be who you want that person to be.
Once you truly accept this, dealing with that person/group/organisation will become easier. Don’t accept this and you will be constantly fighting and blaming and tearing each other.
These were my words to my 4 year old daughter who started crying as she did not become the ‘king’ by finishing her dinner first. The competition was about finishing up the meal first and the person who does that becomes a ‘king’. While I was trying to match her pace and was eating slowly, at some stage she let her efforts go down and incorrectly assumed that she can be winner by default all the time for just playing.
As I uttered these words, I realised that not only children but adults too cry when they don’t win. Winning can have many meanings but to put it simply in this context, when something does not go as per the wishful thinking of the person. The crying is in the form of abusing the system, authorities, seniors, blaming fate etc. Just because of wishful thinking, does not make anyone a winner by default. The person under this wrong impression most probably does to win and starts crying. To win, people need to try first, take action and that too bold actions.
Even following this mantra is no guarantee that you will win, but at least you know that you tried. The people involved will also know that you tried and just not crying of failure on your wishful thinking. That is what makes a difference.
If you make crying your strategy to win whatever you are trying to win, it may work for one time or two but eventually people will get sick of it and leave their goodness hat aside . And there is a name for such people – Crybabies.
It made me think. Yes, we need to be optimistic in life and from good or bad events, we need a reason to smile everyday. We need to be grateful for what we have and for what we don’t have today. But after providing ourselves a reason to smile everyday, won’t it be great if we
Give someone a reason to smile
At times I feel as if people have forgotten to smile and laugh. Look around you in offices, in trains and buses, in cars, when meeting someone face to face, how many genuine smiling faces do you see? And I genuinely hope that there is a bigger number here. Make someone smile. I can count on at least two people that make me smile everyday and that too a genuine one. My 4 year old daughter and my 16 month old son. No matter how many day has been, they give me a reason to smile.
People in Customer Service should know that they can give each person they deal with a reason to smile and they can do it by providing the best service possible. By making dealing with them as painless as possible. Receptionists can give a person reason to smile by providing a really warm welcome on the phone or face to face. I can provide my manager a reason to smile by performing my best and making him look better. Prime minister can give people reason to smile by following up on their promises and making people proud of their decision to vote for them.
And I have a reason to smile everyday and thank God for the lovely family I have.